Some of us are fortunate enough to marry into a wonderful, caring, and respectful family…while some of us are not. There is a very popular stereotype that nobody gets along with their in-laws and its quite sad. In many cases, this conflict is caused by a power struggle. You’ve grown up and lived with your parents for the most part of your life. They know you better than anyone and want what’s best for you. The minute that their child sets off to commit to, and live with another person who will become their new family, protective mode activates which often comes across as absolutely hating you.
There are many things to keep in mind when getting married. When you marry someone, you marry their family and those people are not going anywhere. Remember how important family is, and how much they enrich your life. Do not enter marriage thinking that adopting a new family will be a chore, think of it as an opportunity to grow your family, and become that much closer to your partner.
However, it is also important to remember not to assume that you and your partner are on the same page on the relationship with your families, this should be something you discuss. What role do you want your inlaws to play in your life? what are the boundaries? What relationship does your spouse have with their parents? Etc. Communication is always key to understand the dynamic. It is best to remember that no matter what type of conflict, or tension you might feel, your spouse should be the first person you talk to about it, whether it’s actually between you and your spouse, or you and their family.
The last thing to always keep in mind first and foremost…if they’ve raised the love of your life, then they cannot be as bad as you might think.
